Sunday, March 29, 2009

Rest in Peace - Hugh Timlin 1945 - 2009


March 2002
Originally uploaded by Lunasa Designs
My dad.
It feels so surreal to say that you are dead.
One of the hardest things I've had to do was leave you - so sick - knowing it would be the last time I saw you - and move to Colorado. I left you feeling at peace about our relationship. It has helped that through out my life you have always been open with me - always let me say whatever I needed to say to you.

There is only one thing I never got to say to you.

"Thank you for being my dad."

Thank you for always dropping everything to listen.

Thank you for wearing carpenter pants when I was a little kid and letting me believe that hammer loop was put there just for my grubby little hand... So that I could grasp on and follow you where ever you went. Thank you for only getting mildly annoyed when I would take that hammer out and throw it to the ground every time it dared occupy MY little loop.

Thank you for patiently allowing me to destroy all of your saw blades as I “practiced” being a jeweler as a kid and cut through sheet after sheet of copper in your studio (good thing it was cheap back then).

Thank you for sitting quietly by my side during my first terrifying bouts of depression as a child and continuing to support and love me throughout my adulthood.

Thank you for believing in me.

Thank you for getting the humor in my candor when I didn't give you any excuses and didn't allow any for you.

Thank you for recognizing that I was showing you my love when I refused to show you my sympathy.

Thank you for getting my kids hooked on chocolate at an early age, teaching them how to gather eggs and showing them where "meat" really comes from.

Thank you for loving me enough to allow me to be ME.

Thank you for giving me six beautiful, wonderful siblings and teaching us that, “as long as we have each other, we’ll be ok”.

As I post this, Sawyer sits on my lap – points to your picture on the computer and with a BIG smile on his face says, “Gwampa!!” It breaks my heart that he doesn’t know he will never sit in your lap again – never steal your glasses and giggle slyly as he hides them behind his back… Never run up to you with his arms outstretched, yelling “gwampa!”…

I wonder how I will keep your spirit alive to my boys. What will I tell them about your life?
How will I ever supply them with the same amount of chocolate you had for them - in your pocket - at every visit?

I love you and I miss you. I wish I could pick up the phone and call you right now. It seems wrong that during one of the biggest moments of my life, you aren’t here to philosophize with about it.

8 comments:

mdk jewelry designs said...

Rebekah,
I am so so sorry for your loss. You were on my mind the other day, and I checked my blog to see if you had updated since your big move. I just looked at my blog and saw your update feed.

(((((((HUGS)))))!!!!!

Take care!

ClinkscalesArts said...

Hi Rebekah. I'm so sorry about your dad. I just checked your shop to see if you had listed any new goodies and saw your announcement. My thoughts are with you.

hellodolly said...

Rebekah,
I knew your Dad and your Mom when you were very little and still living in Dearborn.
Your Dad made our wedding rings for us.
We'd run into him from time to time at art events in Detroit.
I even got to visit him on the farm several years ago and sent him some down comforters to keep him warm in the winter.
We shared some great conversations.
I am sure that he is now conversing wtih James Joyce face to face.
How will you keep his spirit alive? You are his spirit alive...and so are your sons. You will go on living and be ok because you have each other.
Our deepest sympathy,
Dolores Slowinski & Bob D'Aoust

Ashley said...

Rebekah, that was such a touching and poignant tribute to your dad. Tears are running down my face and I really feel for you. Your dad sounds like a great one!

Pam said...

sending you love and a little peace.....take care of yourself and those boys right now. I love you!
Pam
xoxoxo

Sheri L (Burhoe) Larsen said...

Wow ! What a surprise. I remember when we first started chatting a good long while ago, you mentioned your dad to me, what a wonderful and important person in your life, that he was. So sorry for your loss Rebekah ! :-( Take very good care !

Donna Hiner said...

I'm preparing for an October art showing in Detroit, and your father, Hugh, popped in to my mind. I so hoped to see him as I moved from Mt. Pleasant in 2008 and haven't seen him since. I went to undergrad, and grad school sharing the art studio with Hugh. He was always so helpful and kind to me.

I got on line to look him up and I saw your moving tribute to your father. It breaks my heart that he has gone from the concrete into the ethereal, without getting to say good bye. Although, I did see him just before I moved and had a very nice conversation with him...and for that I feel blessed.
May your memories heal your hearts.

Rebecca Allen said...

Rebekah, I understand how hard it is to loose a dad and I love what you wrote here. I too had so many things to say thank you for. There is an emptiness with their absence that I am afraid will always be there. Love to you today and hugs. Becky